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Entries in divorce (20)


Co-Parenting Challenge: Forgiveness...Beyond Your Ex & Yourself

I (Deesha) am currently co-presenting a workshop for women called Writing Through Your Divorce, and this past week our topic was forgiveness. The conventional advice related to forgiveness and co-parenting is that forgiving your ex and yourself will help you to move forward and not stay mired in your past relationship, and that this in turn will help you to do your part in creating a cooperative parenting partnership that is future- and child-focused. But I as I explored this issue of forgiveness in the workshop, it occurred to me that there are others that we may need to ask for or extend forgiveness.  

In my own experience, it's taken me nearly 8 years to figure out that in my post-separation haze, I was self-absorbed to the point of being inconsiderate to someone who was at that time a friend.  And I owe her an apology. Is there someone besides your ex that you didn't treat as kindly or respectfully as you should have when you were in the dark days of your break up?

Conversely, is there a friend or family member you need to forgive for not being as patient, helpful, supportive, or understanding as you expected them to during the course of your separation or divorce?

Finally, given their physical and emotional proximity to us, our children can end up in the line of fire of our anger, frustration, disappointment, and grief, despite our best intentions to spare them.  Are there things you said or did--or didn't say or do that you should have--that you regret and for which you may need to make amends with your kids?

It's so easy to see ourselves solely as victims, or blameless, or well-intentioned.  It's much harder to accept that as flawed beings, we are going to stumble and sometimes, we stumble over people we care about. It's inevitable. But we can make an effort to make things right.  And not only does this give us an opportunity to make peace with people we care about, it's also an opportunity to model forgiveness, humility, and responsibility to our children.

So...are you up for the challenge? Is there someone you need to forgive--whether they ask for it or not?  Is there someone's forgiveness you'd like to ask?



Co-Parenting Moms: A Special Workshop Just for You!

Even though we're gearing up to celebrate dads, we want to share with you some early-bird details about my (Deesha's) collaboration with Friend of Co-Parenting 101, Magda Pecsenye (AskMoxie), that's especially for women. Today, Magda and I are opening registration for Writing Through Your Divorce, our new online workshop for women!

If you're anywhere in the process of divorce (from pre-paperwork to years out) and you'd like to use the discipline of writing to both process and create written pieces you're proud of, this workshop is for you.  The workshop starts July 8, and we're giving an early-bird discount for registering by June 19.

Everything you need to know about Writing Through Your Divorce is here.

If you're a dad, or if you know someone else who might benefit from this workshop, please pass this along to her! (You don't have to be a mom to participate.)

photo credit 

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