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Saturday
Jun062009

Co-parenting, Church, and Spiritual Practice


Not long after Mike and I (Deesha) split up, I begin looking for a different church "home" at our older daughter's request. (Her request was unrelated to the divorce, fyi). It's been a few years now, and I am still "between churches". I'm still looking, but Mike has found a church that he and the girls attend, even on my weekends. I'm fine with that, but I still would like to find a church for myself.

Fortunately, Mike and I are generally on the same page with regards to religion (with him being the more conservative of the two of us). But as I prepare to visit a church tonight (Saturday services are the way to go!), I wonder about co-parents who don't agree on religion or spiritual practice.

How do you and your fellow co-parent reconcile your religious and spiritual differences where the kids are concerned?
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Reader Comments (1)

During my marriage religion was one of several 300lb gorillas in the room. I was brought up in a fire and brimstone single parent southern christian baptist household while my ex-wife was raised by two strong willed West Indian women. Her grandmother was a devout Seventh Day Adventist and her mother is an old school scary Nun Catholic.

We heard it from all sides on what religious path to press upon the girls, some we entertained and others we did not. Initially my ex-wife swayed to the teachings of the catechism of the catholic church for the kids while I chose to stay impartial to civil doctrines with the hopes that the kids would form their own opinions and ask questions.

Now at ages 12 and 10 my daughters are beginning to ask those very questions about religion, in particular how their mother and I feel about religion, God, history and other relative topics. I am as honest as I can be with respect to their teachings and I am selective with what references I choose to share with them that have shaped my opinions over the last 37 years.

Coincidentally, the girls attended a private Christian academy that emphasized many of the same teachings that I was raised on. This makes it extremely easy for me to relate to them on religion, had we chosen a Catholic based education I can only imagine how difficult it would be for me to have this success.

It also helps that the girls do have some continuity, they attend the same church when in either parents care. Their mother and I don't agree on a great deal of core religious issues but as it relates to the kids they see that we worship in the same house of the Lord. Regardless if we never sit together...

June 8, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterblkirish

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