"Co-Parenting Matters" Celebrates Mothers!

  

photo by beverlytaz 

Each May, we celebrate Mother's Month on our "Co-Parenting Matters" show on BlogTalkRadio, and this year we're celebrating with some of our favorite moms.  Join us next Sunday, May 19 at our new earlier time, 8:30 PM EST, as we talk about step-mothering, single motherhood, adoptive motherhood...and of course, co-parenting, with our special guests: Stacia L. Brown, founder of BeyondBabyMamas.com; Friend of Co-Parenting 101, PhatKeke; Heather Hetchler, founder of Cafesmom; Amy Urbach, founder of BlendedAndBonded.com; and Sherry Thomas, Mike's wife, and stepmom to our kids.

We hope you can tune in and celebrate with us!

Co-Parenting in the News: Denise Richards Has Temporary Custody of Charlie Sheen's Kids

Death threats. Restraining orders.  Post-divorce family vacations gone bad. All part of the up and down of Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards' co-parenting situation.  Despite this, Richards was recently given temporary custody of Sheen's twin sons while their mother, Brooke Mueller (Sheen's second wife), is receiving treatment for substance abuse.

This is a bittersweet development for the two boys who were removed from Sheen's home by police in 2011 in the wake of his very public meltdown.

For the children's sake, I'm glad that Richards has stepped up in this way, and that Sheen is supportive of the placement.  And surely Brooke Mueller can face her challenges better knowing that her children are being well-cared for in a loving, familiar setting with their half-siblings.

And bonus: Because Sheen and Richards live in the same gated community, Sheen has reportedly been spending more time with the boys.

Co-Parenting Challenge: What's Good About Your Child's Other Parent?

In celebration of Valentine's Day, we blogged about the right children have to express love and affection for, and receive love and affection from, both parents.  This is one of 19 rights listed in the "Bill of Rights for Children in Divorce and Dissolution Actions,” a helpful list of rights created by the New Jersey Chapter of the Association of Family and Conciliation Courts.  (You can read the full list of rights here.) In this series of posts, we're taking a closer look at each of the other 18 rights.

The right to know and appreciate what is good in each parent. 

For some co-parents, this right may feel like a "Say Something Nice" challenge. You know those pictures that make the rounds on the internet of celebrities or regular folks looking a hot mess, and the challenge is to say something nice about them? Likewise, a co-parent may be hard-pressed to articulate something good about the other parent.  But the good news is...

1) It may be easier to acknowledge the good in the other parent when you consider him or her as a parent, rather than as a former partner.  A not-so-great partner can be a great parent.  

2) Through positive interactions, your child can form her own impressions and naturally come to know and appreciate what's good in the other parent, without you ever saying a word.  Doing your part to keep things civil with your ex will help facilitate this knowledge and appreciation.  Refraining from bad-mouthing the other parent to or around your child also makes this possible.

Children want (sometimes desperately) to see the good in both their parents.  It makes them feel good about their parents, their family life, and, most importantly, about themselves as they are reflections of their parents. So to not only allow, but encourage, your child to see the good in the other parent is a gift to him that enriches his perception of who he is.

Maybe it's a stretch for you, or perhaps your child as well, to see the good in the other parent.  Gift-giving occasions such as birthdays, Mother's Day, and Father's Day can be opportunities to give some thought to the positives. With the latter two approaching next month and the month after, we challenge you to identify at least one positive about your child's other parent.  Maybe it's a trait that you see reflected in your child like a take-charge attitude, a smart sense of humor, or skillfulness in the arts or athletics.

If it's age-appropriate, ask your child to think of positive traits about the other parent that could be included in a card or other artwork that can be a gift for Mother's Day, Father's Day, another special occasion, or just because.  Let your child know that it's okay for her to acknowledge and appreciate these good attributes.  Point out the ones that she and the other parent have in common.

If you accept this challenge, let us know how it goes in the comments section.  Or, join the discussion about it in our Facebook group. (The group is private so you'll need to be logged in to send a request to join.)